Flatiron Imposter?
How and why I ended up at The Flatiron School?
Rewinding back about 18 months, I had just moved to New York City. What an experience I was in for. Growing up just a few hours north, I had experienced my fair share of Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Long Island and the surrounding tri-state area. Needless to say I was excited about the new dynamic I would be sharing with the city itself. I was fortunate enough to be working in sales right in the heart of Flatiron. Madison Square Park slowly became the center of Manhattan for me. Not only was I lucky enough to have the job that I did, but I was able to work in what some may argue is some of the most historic real estate on the face of the Earth. I would spend much time in this park — enjoying the weather, people watching, getting out of the office for a bit or just passing by on my way back and forth from the office. The Flatiron building and Madison Square Park area had forever reserved a spot in my heart. Naturally, I was drawn to the Flatiron School strictly because of the name…just kidding…but not really…maybe?
Getting to Flatiron
Fast forward back to the present. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it — it’s a fortunately for me, in case you were wondering — I’ve found myself once again with an incredible opportunity. Stumbling upon coding in my free time over the summer, time began to force my hand. It had become time to think about something other than sales. With job applications going out, a fraction of those companies responding and an even smaller fraction of the responses being positive ones began to take its toll.
Enter The Flatiron School. I had heard of The Flatiron School, seen ads and even talked to a friend that graduated from the course a little over a year ago. I had to begun to seriously consider that a career change to software development may be the right step for me. The Flatiron School not only enticed me through what I had heard through word of mouth, the research I did seemed optimistic and the opportunity to “dip your toes” into their program through their website had all but ensured that my life would be taking a serious turn.
After much thought, I had decided to join The Flatiron School and was accepted. How exciting right? By no means, did I ever think that Flatiron would be easy — or be another class that I could skate through like high school earth science. Everyone was guilty of that at some point throughout their educational career, right?
Anyway, I quickly realized that Imposter Syndrome was a real thing. Not only that, but self care when working in this manner are of extreme importance.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
“Imposter Syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success.” — Gill Corkindale, Harvard Business Review
Thinking back, I’ve experience these thoughts throughout my entire professional career, and even before then. Naturally, everyone feels doubt sometimes and I believe that while it may not be a positive feeling, there is an opportunity to use those feelings in a positive way.
Growing up my whole life playing sports, I was lucky enough to have many great mentors and coaches. My freshman year basketball coach is one that I will never forget, and that I admired and respected for the lessons that he taught us, both on and off the court. He taught us that sports are a microcosm of life, a smaller version of the world. At the time I may not have seen the whole picture, but looking back over the years it makes perfect sense.
Inside of a game, no matter what the sport (basketball, volleyball, baseball, soccer, etc.) you will find each and every feeling or experience that life will throw at you, in a smaller scale. There is struggle, relief, triumph, loss, agony, elation and you guessed it, self doubt. The 9th grade starting point guard may be the best player on the team, everyone may look up to him, look to him for leadership or to just score the all important basket at the end of the game. However, they may not think that way about themselves. He or she may doubt themselves to hit the buzzer beater because they missed their last shot a minute before. Maybe they’re thinking about how they didn’t make the varsity team, even though they were only in 9th grade. Or maybe coach told them they are the leader of the team, and they just feel like they are member of the team — that they lack the skills or know how to lead.
Are you relating yet? Yes, no, maybe a bit, completely?
Circling back to Flatiron. After a bit of a tangent and a quick stroll around my thought process you might be able to tell where this is going. The Flatiron School has been an amazing experience for me thus far, and I very much look forward to the challenge and people that I will be introduced to along the way. However, I will admit that throughout the process of teaching myself HTML, CSS, JavaScript, going through the admissions process and finally beginning the software engineering bootcamp at Flatiron I have experienced self doubt. I have called myself an imposter.
That being said, I chose to write this blog for a simple reason, or maybe two. Number one, to say that it is okay and completely natural to feel this way. I find myself engaging in inner dialogue about these feelings on a fairly regular basis. Number two, that The Flatiron School has created such awareness about these feelings and a fantastic support system to help you work through it. Just like all the sports games that I ever played in, Flatiron has brought me excitement, optimism, anxiety and self doubt among other emotions. Now, I don’t mean to be pessimistic, just realistic. I try to live my life that way, I believe it makes the tough times more tolerable. I believe that with the right opportunity and support, those feelings can be used to change your mindset for the better.
Flatiron has taught me the importance of doing just that. Each and every instructor, administrator or coach that I have interacted with have stressed the importance of self care and addressing the feeling of Imposterism. My fellow cohort and I are encouraged to speak up, let people know how we are feeling and make sure we take self care steps. Coding is difficult enough as it is, there is no need to start a fight in your own head space with yourself — you’ll lose that fight most of the time. However, speaking out and expressing ourselves may lead us to find that those we look to for guidance have experienced or may be experiencing the same feelings. Perhaps, by having the courage to speak out and express ourselves, we will find that we empower others to do the same and overcome our own feelings.
By no means, am I hoping that this blog will revolutionize the world. I am not expecting this to become a leading source on how to handle Imposter Syndrome. My goal is to strictly share my experience at Flatiron, share my thoughts as to why Flatiron is so great and perhaps enlighten whoever is reading, that any self doubt they may be feeling is completely normal, in fact it is extremely common.
Whether you are starting a new career path at 28 years old with two prior careers(such as yours truly), playing sports, in medical school, CEO of a Fortune 500 company or building the next great dating app — you will experience Imposter Syndrome. It is my goal to create a conscious awareness, to help empower those that are feeling similar to speak up, be vulnerable and grow.
